Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I've been struggling lately with feeling like an outsider. I mean I have always known I'm different...but who isn't?? We are supposed to be different from one another. Imagine if we were all the same then life would be so boring. I guess it stems from not feeling like I "belong".

Does anyone else ever feel as if everyone else has their group or clique and somewhere you missed the sign up sheet??

It seems that everyone else has it "figured out" and somewhere you missed the bus and are still on the curb.


Is it the fact that everyone "else" doesn't have it "figured out" and they are all just acting like they do...they act as if they know it all...they act like their life is perfect...and they exemplify that they know what next step they need to take.


Is all my pontificating and analyzing done just because I'm too busy trying to figure out what other people are doing and not concentrating on myself because my life sometimes overwhelms me??

I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and you can read my face like a book. If I'm sad, I frown...If I'm happy, I have a smile on my face...If I'm mad you can see the fury burning in my eyes.

I guess this is one reason I feel like an "outsider": I am a book...ask me a question and you shall receive an answer. My conscious goes wild if I say something dishonest. I try to hide my emotions but they exude out of my being like the air I exhale. If someone accuses me of doing something I didn't do, I get angry, not because I did it but because they would actually think I would do something and have them not know.

This is a reason I RUN.

Running calms me.

It's not that running is my life but it is a tool I use to put my mind and body in sync.

When I run my mind slows down because I concentrate on the air I need and the next step I take.
I begin to focus on the "Here and Now" and not the future or the past.
I pray. I pray to Jesus My Lord for He is my best friend. Many people don't believe in a relationship with God but that's why Jesus came to this earth to live and die for us. He came to reconcile us with our Heavenly Father. He came to save and not condemn. It hurts my heart when I see mislead Christians accusing people that God did something bad to them or a loved one because they are "sinners" and that God is judging them and it's His way of bringing them back to Him.
HELLO?! No it's NOT!!
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."-John 3:16-17
It's satan that does those horrible things to people.
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."-Jesus speaking- John 10:10
He loved us before we loved Him. He reconciled us to Him because of His love for us.
"We love Him because He first loved us."-1 John 4:19
"For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life"-Romans 5:10

It doesn't matter what I do, I know that Jesus is my answer. When uncertainty surrounds me I know it is Him who will lead me out. He is my Light, my Rock and Fortress...My strong tower I run under when the world seems to fall around me.

So I am an "outsider" because I'm dependent upon Him. I don't have it all figured out and I need to seek Him for my next step. It's His Spirit that shows me the way in which I should walk and leads me to the Truth. "However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come."-Jesus Speaking-John 16:13

I didn't start this post with Him in mind but because He knows my heart and knows that these feelings are not from Him. He has led me out of my darkness and into His Light. He is my Shepherd, He restores my Soul.

Today if you're reading this and you feel empty or you feel lost or sad and you're looking for guidance.
Ask Him, Ask Jesus. If you don't know Him, Just Ask Him to come into your Heart and Lead you to what you need to do. He is there waiting right now and is more than willing to help. It says in Romans 10:9-13 " that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”

If you pray this prayer and would like to tell me or need guidance or a friend. I am here too. Email me HERE.

Have a BLESSED day to all who read this and YES JESUS DOES LOVE YOU!!

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