What I did: I wasn’t able to get anything done on this day because errands and books overwhelmed me. L
I decided to go the the Centennial Trail and run with the stroller since it was a fairly nice day. I felt really sluggish but my pace was faster than I thought it was.
Total Time: 42:25 for 4.6 miles Average Pace 9:13/mile
Wednesday: 8x400 5k pace
Then they start playing EYE OF THE TIGER!!! LOL You have got to be kidding me!! I chuckle and smile. Thank You God for helping me lighten my mood!! A sweet girl, probably about 14 was my guess, asked me what time I was aiming to finish, I told her sub 37 and she said she was aiming for 36-37. I told her that I bet she would do it. She looked fast, who knows she could be the next Shalane or Desi. Then they announce that they are a couple minutes to start and thank everyone for coming and running and it’s their 30th Anniversary, yada, yada, yada. “Ok get started, already, I want to get this over with!”, I agnoized in my head. I remind myself of my splits I wanted to run“7:28,7:28, 7:19, 7:11, 7:11” .Then the countdown begins 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I had my finger on my start button of my Garmin and clicked it right before I went over the line and it didn’t beep, ugh, clicked it again and BEEP it went. I’m running down the street and see my hubby and Miss Bean and I wave,
I then look down at my Garmin and it said 5:48/mile pace, “Ahhhh!! TOO FAST!! Slow down, Slow down, why does it feel comfortable running at this pace??” I continue to slow down and after about a ½ mile I was still in the 6’s and by the end of the first mile I was finally in the 7’s. “Oh shoot, did I screw up?” I feared. Then I encouraged myself, “Oh well, just keep going and slow it down, remember your splits 7:28, 7:28, 7:19, 7:11, 7:11” My mile 1 was 7:07 and I was tracking at a 7:23 for the 2nd mile per my Garmin but then at 1.90 miles I passed mile 2 marker. “Are they joking? Oh crap is my Garmin that off?!” Then I start feeling the 60 degree weather and the sun and then there was a small hill. My paced slowed and people started passing me. I heard another runner say that her Garmin said she was at a 7:40 pace. I looked down and mine said 7:17. “What?!” I know it’s all averaged out but I was starting to doubt how fast I ran. I started to get hot and my Garmin average pace got slower and slower. When I ran past the 3 mile marker it said I was running at a 7:55/mile pace. I thought “Well I’m done, I’m not going to make it, that’s slow and there was no 8 minute miles in my plan.” However, I didn’t do the math at that point but my Garmin said 19:48 at mile 2.9…which happened to be right by mile marker 3, which is an average pace of 6:38 per mile at 3 miles. I knew the Garmin was off at this point. I thought that there markers could be off too. I knew that I had hit the button late and that it would be off a 1/10 of a mile but I wasn’t sure that I could keep up the pace for 2 miles. There was a girl running in front of me and I wanted to stay close to her because I knew she was either trying for a sub 37 or close because she kept looking at her Garmin. But I didn’t know now if her Garmin was correct either because mine was soo off. At this point the mental battle began and I didn’t know if I should just screw the Garmin and just run by feel or if I should just slow down and take it easy. I thought, “I’m just not fast enough, this is my “fast” I need to accept it”, the average pace was reading in the 8’s by then. I decided I would continue to run as best as I could and not look at my Garmin if possible. I hit mile 4 and my Garmin’s time was at 28:20 and I deducted it from 37:00 real quick to see what mile I would have to run to get 37:00. 7:40! I can do a 7:40 I thought. So I picked up the pace and started running faster but then there was a little hill and then another and I tried my best to power up the little hills without loosing speed but my Garmin said I was running an 8 minute mile and hadn’t been decreasing. Ugh!! “Why do I keep looking at this thing?!” I told myself to just run. I told myself that if I got up to the finish and saw that I missed it my seconds that I would probably be mad at myself but at least the McMilliman finish time predictor would be wrong because it said I could race 5 miles in 38:11. After I crested the little hill I ran down and knew there was only about .30 of a mile left. I powered my legs forward and started to catch up to the dudes that past me earlier. I saw my hubby ¼ a mile out from the finish line. He was yelling “GO!! GO!!” I saw my stroller but didn’t get a view of Miss Bean, my hubby told me she was clapping for me as I ran by, Aww!! Love!! I saw the clock and it said 37:11…Yesh!! I powered through as it clicked from 37:18 to 37:19….19 seconds…I missed it by 19 seconds.
My Garmin read 4.91 miles, I clicked it off at 37:36. Technology…(que Kip from Napoleon Dynamite “I love technology”)…I hate technology or is it just because I’m stupid and I gave up because I didn’t know what time I was at because I wasn’t in control and didn’t know because my Garmin was off? What happened to the runner that didn’t have a watch and that loved to run because running was fun and freeing? What happened to the girl who set a sub 2 half goal before she knew anything about running and that a sub 2 goal was a lofty goal to set for your first half? Knowledge. Knowledge of my times by Garmin, although not always accurate. Knowledge of others times and wanting to be like them, to be “faster”. Knowledge that if you fail you have to write it out on your blog and everybody else gets to read how you failed. This race was an eye opener for me in that we can only limit ourselves. WE are the ones that decide what we think is fast or slow. My time for the 5 mile race was a good time. It was even a PR for me. I didn’t meet my goal but does that make me any less of person? I will not allow what the time on the clock is to make me feel bad about myself. I will pick myself up and try again. Because that’s what goals are for. They are meant to be met, if not today then another day. I’m not going to agnoize about how I didn’t meet my goal because the world is still turning on it’s axis. I will continue to run because I love running. I will continue to race because I love racing. I will continue to set goals to accomplish and I will continue to endeveour to reach them whether I reach them today or another. My point is this: Believing in yourself is about the ability to realize your strengths and your weaknesses and to continue to move forward even when you get knocked down. Believing in yourself is about not giving up when the going gets rough. Believing involves perserverance and endurance and following your heart when your head wants to lead. I’ve learned my lesson now and I’m back to what I knew before. Run for the love of it!
4th in Age Group 25-29 (awards for top 3, bummer!)
Total Weekly Mileage: 16 running miles
Do you run for the love of it or do you find yourself getting caught up with the time?